Life is under no obligation to give us what we expect. -- Margaret Mitchell
Sometimes some experiences in your life jolt you out of your normal routine life and force you to ruminate on the things happening to you .
I recently had one such experience when some of my friends didn't rise to my expectations and left me all alone(that is what I felt that time ) when I needed their company.To be fair enough to them ,there was something that I had expected and there was something that they didnt think I expected and in the end what ensued was completely unexpected .It was one of those days when you like to listen to sad songs and feel a sadistic satisfaction that you alone are not sad .I am not sure about how much of gas or oil I used ,but the incident did cause me a lot of heart burn :) .
But as I thought about the whole incident and came to the conclusion that I finally drew ,I felt it was nothing short of a personal 'Aha' experience or a "Eureka moment" .The root of the problem was my "Great Expectations" . I had read a lot about it that we should never expect something from others orwe should be selfless in our service ,but never understood its signifance .Now I really understand how important it is in life .
In one of my previous blogs (My Canddle Burns At Both Ends) I wrote that it is the effort that really counts .Now I really believe it .
Life can be really more enjoyable if we live in the moment without expecting anything !!!
Now I know most of you would be thinking that can you really or rather should you really let go of your expectations ??
For ex. 1.Wont your parents who raise you with such love and care expect you to reciprocate it in return ??
2.Wont an Actor who gives his complete self to a movie expect it to be a block buster ??
3. Wont a sports person like to go out and hit a century or score a goal when he goes out in the field ???
4. Wont a boy expect the girl to love him in return the way he loves her ? (Ok Now I am going too far :D :P)
How can you really not expect these things ? And if you really dont expect anything ,what really will be your source of
inspiration ?
Well in the answer to these questions lies the "Aha" experience !
1.Tell me honestly did our parents raise us only because they wanted us to take care of them when we grow up or was it their love and affection for us ?
2.Will Amitabh Bachhan or Amir Khan really quit acting if they get a series of flop ?(well they may not get movies to sign ,but that is altogether a different topic )
3.Does Sachin really go out to bat for a century ? It may be his intention but what he really loves is the batting in itself.He will keep batting as long as he enjoys batting (and is kept in
the team :D )
On a ligher note,will you stop reading if you read one bad article(I hope this is not the one ) ???
NO! Because you love reading in the first case ! :D
Lets take one more example !
I have a dog at home .His name is Scooby .Sometimes when he does some mischief I scold him and he whines and goes away .
If he does something good ,I go and roll my hand over his back and pat him .He neither whines nor goes away :D.
But whatever way I treat him ,he always greets me with an excited expression and a wagging tail (whose speed is directly proportional to the distance between him and me ).That is the lesson we all must learn .To love without expectation !!!!
My basic point is that we should really do what we enjoy doing .All we should care about is the process .Things may or may not turn out the way we want them to be ...but one thing is for sure ,we will be a lot more satisfied .
It took me a bad experience to realise this .But I hope it takes you just an article to realise the same !
In the end Life is nothing but an improperly written complex equation.It depends on a lot of useless variables (like Expectation, Inflated Ego,Anger etc ) .Our aim in life is to simplify this equation by removing all the unwanted variables and make this equation prefect !!!
Quotes for thought :
To free us from the expectations of others, to give us
back to ourselves--there lies the great, singular power of self-respect. -- Joan Didion
One of the things that my parents have taught me is never listen to other people's expectations.
You should live your own life and live up to your own expectations, and those are the only things
I really care about it. -- Tiger Woods
The sudden disappointment of a hope leaves a scar which
the ultimate fulfillment of that hope never entirely removes. -- Thomas Hardy
Expectations are like showing carrot to a Donkey ! You will keep chasing it ,but never get it !!! --Somil Patni (do remember this during your appraisal cycle :D )
